Obama wins!

This is a longer post that combines my thoughts that are spread out on several of my posts.

I stayed up on November 4th counting electoral votes as I enjoyed basking in the moment of Obama’s win. Truly, I am happy. I feel a kinship with him on many levels.

My mother was a white American. Her mother was Irish American and her father was Jewish originally from Poland. She met my Nigerian father while he was at Columbia University in New York and she ended up moving to Nigeria where she lived for 38 years. The bi-racial component is one point of  resonance for me when I consider our new president elect.

I moved to the US when I was sixteen. I relate with many people of many different races and nationalities. I have relationships in many corners of the world and I am looking to establishing even more. One of the things I have written about is the fact that I am a Third Culture Kid. Being multiracial and living in different cultures growing up as a child makes me a Third Culture Kid.

I find the conversation about Obama and race to be very interesting because I do not think he sees himself as others see him. In my opinion, A Black man did not win the election. He is multi-racial! Why are we trying to define who he is? He gets to define who he is. I have never really heard him discuss his person definition of his race extensively. I think it would upset other people if they realized that he may not see his race through the same lens as they do. He may actually consider himself half white and half African – a new spin on the term “African-American.”

One thing we have underestimated in this electoral race is the subject of resonance. Resonance elected Obama – not race. He resonates with many white Americans, because culturally, he has a significant white component to his identity. He resonates with young people. He relates to African Americans. He resonates with thinking people. As he kisses his wife and kids while on camera, he resonates to family people. Most of all, he resonates with people who are sick and tired of living in a box. He resonates with people who want to live outside the box! Because he is a Third Culture Kid (TCK) he has this innate ability to resonate with so many people on so many levels.

He may be married to an African American but he has not always being fully immersed into the African American culture.  We define him as African American but that term does not quantify his personal multicultural, multinational and multiracial being.

As proud as I am about him, I do not want a person in the white house because of their race. I want a person, male, female, black, white, Hispanic, gay, straight or whatever, because of their competency and ability to deliver and make this country the best place on the planet in every way possible. Period. As happy and as proud as I am of him, I voted for him not because of the color of his skin or because I resonated with his family background but because of his competency.

I was really shocked to find out that so many people are reacting in extremely negative ways about our new president elect. There are a lot of viral messages on Facebook and various places on the Internet that are fully expressive of very base forms of prejudice. This is particularly shocking to me.

I have never really felt that I was a victim of prejudice. I have lived in the United States for almost 30 years and I have always enjoyed a very arms length relationship with racial prejudice.  I was never conditioned to be very aware of it and its negative impact because my parents firmly believed in charting out your life on your terms. Also, frankly, I think growing up in a different part of the world made a big difference for me.Americans have a tendency to define almost everything from a race perspective.

I have had a pretty good life. I meet many white Americans in my daily life and I cannot say that I have had any major negative experiences in my interactions with white Americans.  This is not to say that I have not observed racism, but I was never affected negatively by it.

I once worked at a law firm where a long standing 90 year old white male client came in and needed some work done. He was an uneducated white male originally from rural Georgia. He was introduced to me and he said that he did not want to work with a “n…..” Yes, the really negative word. I was so amused how easily that word rolled off his tongue. Obviously, it was just a descriptive term for him. There was no emotion behind his words. That was the first time someone had used that word to describe me to my face.

I assured him that he should trust my boss’s judgment and allow me to do the work and if I did not do a good job, he would not have to pay. I went on and prepared his will and we got to know each other. I truly was not offended. I just saw him as someone that was conditioned to think the way he did. He was impressed with my work and gave me more work to do for him. I must say, as I think back to my interaction with him. He may have appeared to be prejudiced based on his ignorance but he was not an angry person and that may be why I had an easy relationship with him.

It turns out we lived near each other and a couple of years later as I drove past his house I saw a lot of cars there and I could tell something was wrong. I stopped and went into the house where everyone immediately stopped and stared at me. You could hear a pin drop. I asked for him and I was told he was in the bathroom. Someone asked me who I was and I said I was his lawyer. They all looked surprised, yet relieved. When my client came out of the bathroom, he smiled and was so happy to see me. He told me his wife had died and I gave him a big hug. I fussed over him as I asked if he had been taking his medication and was he feeling OK. He introduced me to everyone and eventually, a few of the people I met that day became my clients. I sat down and shared a meal with him and his family and guess what, they were just ordinary people, sad that they lost the family matriarch, worried about their children and the economy and wanting to live good lives.

To this moment, I am certain several people in that room were members of the KKK or such similar group. I could sense it, yet I never sensed I was in danger.

That episode taught me that prejudice is learned and is a defense mechanism to protect what you know and what serves you. It is a refection of a person’s lack of imagination and adventure. But the saddest part is just seeing the person’s energy as that of fear of loss of everything that has defined them. It truly is sad. From here, I feel great compassion and empathy for those who use racism and prejudice and hatred as a tool of defense and destruction. I can certainly relate to the feeling of loss, fear and mourning of an old friend – something that has defined you for so long.

They are missing out on so much of their lives.

You see, the issue is not race, religion or politics. Those are just smokescreens. The issue is what you believe defines you. Your definition of yourself cannot come from what other people say about you. Your definition of yourself has to come from the place of believeing that you belong on this planet; it is your right to be here, at this time, in this space. You belong.  Once your belief system takes root in this belief system, and you realize that everyone else also has that right, then you can begin to carve out your life from a place of strength and not a place of fear.

Imagine you wake up tomorrow morning and the world has changed: You may be white and99% of the rest of the population is black, Hispanic or what ever you do not like. You are still entitled to your space on this planet. You are still entitled to be as prosperous as your belief system allows. You are still entitled to a political voice with your vote if you live in this country. So is everyone else.

The perceived shift of power in the white house does not increase or decrease any other person’s ability or personal power. I do not feel powerless with George W. Bush in the white house because he is a white male from the South! Not one day over the last eight years did that thought cross my mind. I will not feel more powerful as a person because President-Elect Barack Obama will be in the White House. My personal power does not stem from who is in the white house. It stems from the fact that I am here on this planet and it is my right to create my life and live it out from a personally powerful place. I may feel more powerful when he is in the white house because I feel confident of the leadership of this country, but ultimately, my power comes from me.

I do not believe that John McCain has lost any power whatsoever in his life by not winning the election. Instead, he has gained power. Prior to this race, he had never been the nominee for the Republican ticket before in his life. Obviously that became something very important for him. Today, we know that he has the support of 48% of the voting public. That is not a small matter. How can he continue to make himself relevant to the country, even the world? He is obviously still a valuable assett to the world. Think Al Gore!

Now, yes, the President and his decisions, actions and in-actions, do impact our daily lives and we are all feeling it, especially in the economy. But whether I have a million dollars in the bank or five dollars in the bank, my power comes from me, not my money. Now, it feels better to have a million dollars in the bank. I may feel powerless when I only have five dollars in the bank but the source of my power does not come from a green piece of paper that says $5 or $1 million. It comes from me.

America, can we please dig in deep and find our individual power and from that place, support our national leadership? Please.  Don’t support his race, don’t support his international background, don’t support the fact that he is democratic. Support the fact that he is our leader and therefore he has a responsibility to us. Our responsibility is to draw on our personal power and stop making him a scapegoat of our feelings of powerlessness.

To write this post, I sat back with a desire to perceive Obama’s energy. I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me about Barack Obama?  I realized that I admire his focus. He has been very focused throughout his campaign. I also sensed that he keeps his ego controlled or has a very little one.  When I say focused, I mean he is pro his agenda which was he did not created as an anti agenda of the status quo. So during the debates, when McCain would try to push his buttons, I never saw him angry or reactionary. Some say he was vibing cool hand Luke. I say he was focused on what he wants – A better America.