Life Lessons from Billionaires

I woke up this morning to hear that German billionaire Adolf Merckle committed suicide after he faced huge financial losses. He was 74 years old and survived by a wife and four children.

Later in the day, I watched Oprah’s first show of the year that I had previously recorded. Oprah discussed her recent weight gain and her desire to make an authentic change about her body.

She said that all her success and visibility meant nothing if she could not fit into her clothes. Ouch!

I was startled as to how negative her self talk was initially but she got better and eventually said, “God blessed me in THIS body” so she was going to spend more time loving herself.

Mr. Merckle’s family issued a statement: “The distress to his firms caused by the financial crisis and the related uncertainties of recent weeks, along with the helplessness of no longer being able to act, broke the passionate family businessman, and he ended his life.”

I was struck as to how two of the world’s billionaires have still not figured out how to be happy. Given the media report and constant status updates about the world’s current state of financial affairs, it is a little baffling to read about this. Or is it?

However both billionaires are going to have different outcomes.

Power and Money:

First of all, people that have made a lot of money tend to also enjoy, and many times, abuse, the perceived power that comes with it.

Abuse? Yes, abuse. If you wield that perceived power over others, it is abuse. If you somehow believe that your power is equal to money or your financial status, then you are abusing your own self.

Truth: Money does not equal true power and does not equal happiness.

Let me say this again in case you are not perfectly clear. If you think that your value as a person is based on how much you earn, you can easily end up like one of these billionaires. Unhappy!

Does that level of financial accrual bring a sense of power? Yes. That power comes from feeling accomplished and probably feeling that you have met or exceeded some of your goals. That feeling, consistently over time, becomes a belief that you can do anything.

Is anything wrong with that? No.

I am talking about the abuse of power.

The belief that you can do anything is good. Its great. But when you are faced with a situation where you now have to yield your resistance and let go, it is more difficult for those at the “top,” the billionaires in this case, to yield and let go.

Different outcomes:

I commend Oprah for asking for help from Bob Greene. I commend her for going public about what she perceives as a personal failure. What excited me the most was Bob Greene said he had a theory that he had not discussed with Oprah and that he believed that Oprah had never learned to be happy; she had only learned to survive.

Billionaire Adolf does not appear to have asked for help. His body was found by the railroad tracks. He was alone and not in a familiar place when he died. His children and wife were left with anguish. I believe that given his long expertise in business, that this opportunity of financial challenge could have opened new doors for him.

Who do I identify with?

I can identify with Billionaire Adolf as he obviously did not believe in himself that he could pull through this and be better for it in the end. I have been there.  I did not know how to ask for help. I did not know how to say enough is enough. In many ways, I committed little acts of suicide. When my father died, I felt a piece of myself go with him. I never talked about it. I hurt a lot about it. In a sense, an act of cutting myself off. That is a form of emotional suicide.

When my mother died, I experienced the same thing. I did not ask for help.

When my 14 year old law practice died, I cut off a piece of myself as well.

I identify better with Oprah though because I did come around to asking for help. I asked for help and I got help. I realized that my problems were really not that bad and that I could turn lemons into lemonade. I realized that my self talk was feeding that part of me that wanted to give up instead of finding my authentic self. I worked on myself. I got a coach. I got my family involved. I leaned on my husband somemore. I spent more time alone. I self nutured more. I cared more for my soul.

That is how I became the authentic change coach. When I embraced authentic change in my life and made those changes, I tapped into happiness, got a hold of it and soared. Now, it is not just lemonade, it is champagne and caviar for me. I started to see myself as a person that I valued far more than my title as an attorney, far more than money or any of these accomplishments. I started to see myself as who I am: Precious.

That is how I gained more happiness in my life.

That is why these two billionaires and what happened to both of them matter to me.

I hope it matters to you too.

Seven Lessons learned:

1. Know when you are in trouble

2. Ask for help.

3. Get it. Money does not preclude you from life’s problems.

4. Happiness solves a lot of problems.

5. Money does not buy happiness.

6. You are precious. Not what you are or what you do. Who you are is precious.

7. From this place of value, you can get a proper perspective of what you are and what you do.

Questions:

Oprah asked four questions at the end of her show. Whatever your issue is, substitute it for the weight issue and see what comes up with you and please share.

Why are you overweight? Ask yourself what you are unhappy about.

What are you hungry for? Nurturance, acceptance?

Why have you been unable to maintain weight loss in the past?

Why do you want to lose weight? If you say you will be happy at a particular size or weight you are on the wrong track.

I am looking forward to your responses.