Appreciation: Who do I appreciate? .#17

Yesterday, I wrote about the difference between appreciation and gratitude.

I appreciate my husband the most. He really is a great guy. He is committed to his own personal growth and he tells me stuff that he genuinely believes is for my own good even when he knows I do not want to hear it. That is courageous. Especially with me! He finds all sorts of little ways to be my hero. I have not taken the trash out in eight years and I do not clean up after cooking dinner. A friend visited my home recently and my husband was helping me lay out stuff and clean up and she was shocked that I did not have to ask my husband to do anything. I really do appreciate that about him.

I do not like male bashing. I like men and I have always had good relationships with the men in my life including my father and my brother. I find that we women spend a lot of time male-bashing and expecting less than extraordinary from the men in our lives. Sometimes it is justified and sometimes it is not. However, I enjoy putting my focus on the positives in my relationship with men. Do I find my husband maddening sometimes? Absolutely. Does he have shortcomings in certain areas? Yes, just like I do.

However, I find myself happier and our relationship so much better when I consciously focus on the multitude of things that he does right all day long. So many times, I forget about those things.

With my recent computer issues, he did all that he knew to do to get the situation resolved and when he did not know what to do, he went and asked for help.

It feels good to know that I am supported by him. I enjoy his support.

I also enjoy my sister. She recently adopted two cats and calls me everyday to tell me about the antics of the cats. I enjoy her camaraderie. I enjoy and appreciate my relationships with friends and loved ones.

I appreciate my coaching clients. I believe I have the best clients in the world. They are wonderful people that are sincere about their own growth and development. I am awed as to their courage to look at themselves and to proactively make changes. They are awesome people and it is my honor to work with them.

I appreciate the fact that relationships that were not serving me have dissolved and dissipated. I am relieved to know that when a relationship does not serve me, it looses energy through no action on my part. I love that. I love that I am finally in a place in my life where I can say, “You know what, that relationship with that new friend, neighbor, co-worker, client, whomever, is not healthy. It is not reciprocal. It is not honoring. It does not serve me positively. It does not serve the other person positively. I will not feed it any energy. It is not what I want.” And the relationship just goes away. The person stops calling. I never get to see the neighbor. It just vanishes.

I think that is very powerful.

Who do you appreciate in your life? If you focus your appreciation on those good healthy relationships, those that do not serve you will begin to fall away.
Affirmation: I easily show appreciation to those I love and care for.

Your wants: What do I want less of in my life? .#10

I want less taxing relationships in my life. I want less morning grumpies. I want less stress and I want less time crunch. I also want less lack of what I want.

Over the last few months, I have spent a lot of time thinking and writing about how we co-create our lives relationships and realities with other people. When you begin to take responsibility for your life and really accept that you are solely responsible for the status of the relationships in your life, it can be a tough pill to swallow. So that rude cashier that I encountered at the grocery store is my fault? Well, let us get away from blame, but what was my attitude when I woke up this morning and how did I plan for that encounter at the store? That is the better question.

This morning, for instance, I was a little grumpy as my husband and I went for our three mile walk on the Greenway. He is always such a happy camper. Nothing kills his spirit. He wakes up happy and affectionate. This is what I want right? Well, the truth is sometimes it gets on my nerves. It definitely got on my nerves this morning. I did not sleep well and I was definitely grumpy.

Well, as we walked, he got chatty and happy. I got grumpier. I did not want to talk. I wanted to be alone in my sullenness and just think Why is he always so doggone happy all the time!

Well, I finally stumbled on the truth. The truth is that his happiness and affection tends to make me feel guilty. Yes, guilty. I know that being happy and affectionate is a good thing and I want more of that in my life but why do I hold on to those morning grumpies for just a little too long? Hmmmm……

This was an epiphany today – that my husband’s good mood actually stirs up guilt because it is really pointing me in the right direction. So, I embraced the guilt. Thanked it for serving such a great purpose in my life and let it go.

I knew I married that handsome guy for a reason.

So, as I had that epiphany, I started smiling. I felt so grateful for the lesson and that I had married such a great guy and that he loves to be around me, even when I am not my best. I then flowed into the feeling of appreciation for the Greenway and smiled at all the people we met along the way. I felt grateful that my husband is a runner but has started walking with me to support me and he goes at my pace. I realized that in the morning breeze, with the sun shining on my face, I am the most blessed girl alive.

Before you know it, the grumpies were banished away.

I am grateful that I have a relationship with a guy that unknowingly ups my vibe.

Now that is love!

Affirmation: I know what I want and it comes to me so easily.